a change

I decided to change my way of thinking. I've been too desperate to give birth to F. before the due time. As I'm not experienced in this field, I didn't expect that I will carry him to term! So, I thought by this day I will have already come back home and be enjoying motherhood right now. What's more, I planned (how foolish of me) to go home next weekend because I wanted to vote in elections. I planned too much and I shouldn't have. I ought to leave things to take their own course. After all, what's most important? Elections? My plans? NO! The most important thing is F.'s health. It dawned on me today at night that this is the beginning of motherhood, the first step of being a mum. The baby is saying: hello! mummy, now you have to adjust to me, what you've planned is not a priority any more:) So today morning when stroking my belly I apologized to my son for making him nervous and for the rush we've been living in. Now I'm not planning anything, I won't go to vote and I'm not going to be in despair at this fact. My son is the most important for me.
So, despite plans that I've made, the reality looks like this: I'm home, still pregnant and expecting F. any time. Today we're visiting my doctor to have ctg.
And then the weekend begins. Two days of uninterrupted peace and quiet, two days spent with the love of my life, who doesn't have to work on weekends any more. Maybe I will see my son this weekend. And if not, I'll wait some more time.