Happy New Year

So this is it. This week has come to an end. But we still have the weekend! I'm gonna spend this night on my own, with my son and my parents. I promised myself to go to sleep early, but I'm not sure if i will manage to keep my word. My hubby's gone for work, Night shift at New Year's Eve! It was a must and we couldn't do anything about it but we'll survive somehow.

My son's asleep after the bath and I'm gonna grab a bite to eat. And here is a song that I especially like


And do you happen to know this version?

an escape

Good to be home. I haven't expected I would feel so relaxed here. I'm taking rest. Pity that this week will end...

driving home for Christmas....

Today one of my favorite Christmas songs, namely Driving Home for Christmas by Chris Rea. This is what we'll be doing tomorrow:) My husband's off from work tomorrow, so hopefully we're gonna hit the road before noon. Happy Christmas to anybody who's happened to reach this blog:)

happy birthday :)

Today.... today... today... my son's one month old:)))
It's been, without doubt, the most exciting and surprising month in my hus' and my life. It was difficult too but when you take a look at the child when he sleeps, when he sucks at the breast and grips your finger with his hand... moments like that are priceless. Then you don't remember sleepless nights any more:) I must admit here that our son is not very demanding, though. He eats and sleeps most of the times. And of course, he cries:) Sometimes has problems with getting to sleep. But by and large, not a very weepy example of a child.

I'd like to say hello to the first reader of my blog, LIBRA, who was brave enough to leave a comment. So far no pics here, but please, drop in from time to time and make me feel this blog is worth writing!

a mother

He's here. My Son Franciszek is here. I'm a full-time mother and I don't know how I have lived without him. A whole new world has opened in front of me. Breast-feeding is my main occupation these days. I've heard many times about the emotional see-saw that nags you during the confinement, but now I'm experiencing it myself. Even a mere look at my son brings tears to my eyes... I love my son so much. When he takes my breast, with his body close to mine, there's nothing else that exists. A perfect symbiosis.

still here

Hello, this is me, big mama, still before THE DAY. The baby was due last Wednesday and... he's still inside:) Looking outside the window I think no wonder he doesn't wanna come to this world. Gloomy, rainy and cold. I've just come back from the post office, where I had to stand in a line. Arguing with people is not what I like, so let's say I wasn't "brave" enough to ask the people there to let me be served before them. But some of them saw the big belly of mine. And you know what? The worst case is with those middle-aged women. I guess they fall into two groups:
1. those who don't have children and see no point in giving their way to me
2. those who have children but think "who the hell helped ME when I was pregnant? why should I help the one with baby now?"

There is yet another group, I must admit, but I meet people like that very rarely. These are people who will let you be served before them and give up their seat to you. I met few of them during my pregnancy. Very few.

I'm not writing this stuff to show how sorry I feel for myself. My pregnancy makes me feel good and I don't have health problems. I'm sorry for those women who really don't feel on top of the world being in the family way, have nausea, piles, backache and varicose veins. Because what I see around be can be called a plain callousness. Why are people so indifferent?

I must also add that there is a view that still lingers on among middle-aged people, especially among women. They will repeat to you one sentence: "Pregnancy is not a disease". What stands behind this claim is that they were oh-so-poor and oh-so-brave and had to work during their pregnancy. And they did work and nothing happened! And those contemporary pregnant women! They are lazy, stay at home, don't wanna work and I SHOULD GIVE MY WAY TO THEM???

Maybe I'm writing this because I've heard it myself although I worked till the end of the 5th month, commuting each week and not feeling on top of the world. Maybe sometimes I'm full of anger because of that. Because we, contemporary women, don't care what it used to look like. We just want to take some rest. And, what seems obvious to me, we would like our mothers to stop to feel sorry for themselves. Because mothers should want a better life for their kids. Your life may be better, more comfortable then mine and I'm glad. And what do we, contemporary women, face? A pure jealousy. I know what I'm saying. I have a few pregnant friends.

Ok, that's enough:)
I should end on a positive note, so let me tell you how much I'm waiting for my Son. I'm curious what he will look like, what hair he will have and most of all, I hope he's healthy and come to this world safe and sound.

a change

I decided to change my way of thinking. I've been too desperate to give birth to F. before the due time. As I'm not experienced in this field, I didn't expect that I will carry him to term! So, I thought by this day I will have already come back home and be enjoying motherhood right now. What's more, I planned (how foolish of me) to go home next weekend because I wanted to vote in elections. I planned too much and I shouldn't have. I ought to leave things to take their own course. After all, what's most important? Elections? My plans? NO! The most important thing is F.'s health. It dawned on me today at night that this is the beginning of motherhood, the first step of being a mum. The baby is saying: hello! mummy, now you have to adjust to me, what you've planned is not a priority any more:) So today morning when stroking my belly I apologized to my son for making him nervous and for the rush we've been living in. Now I'm not planning anything, I won't go to vote and I'm not going to be in despair at this fact. My son is the most important for me.
So, despite plans that I've made, the reality looks like this: I'm home, still pregnant and expecting F. any time. Today we're visiting my doctor to have ctg.
And then the weekend begins. Two days of uninterrupted peace and quiet, two days spent with the love of my life, who doesn't have to work on weekends any more. Maybe I will see my son this weekend. And if not, I'll wait some more time.

I don't like Tuesdays...

Most people don't like Mondays. Me neither, but even more I don't like Tuesdays. Why? Because my hubby leaves 7:30 and comes back home around 20:30. On Tuesdays he usually goes to one of the villages around Poznan to give private lessons. He has been hired by one of the language schools and he teaches English. The whole course is gonna last for 13 meetings so it won't last forever, but after that I'm sure my hubby will take another course. Maybe it won't be on Tuesdays but, say, Wednesdays. Then I won't like Wednesdays:) Now the additional aspect of the whole thing is that I'm with baby and can deliver any time. So, when Tuesday's over I always sigh with relief. Not that he can't come back home any time. I just don't want to ruin his day because if he has to leave earlier or cancel the lesson, then he will have to make up for the lost lesson and retake it some other time. Which means that another afternoon he won't be home. I'm proud of him that he tries to earn some extra money. It reflects well on him, doesn't it? He's responsible and reliable, the most perfect man I could ever dream of. That's why I miss him so much but I know I just have to survive those Tuesdays. When our little is born it will look the same, but I hope to be more mobile, let's say. And I know that any additional ammount of money is needed right now.

So here I am, waiting anxiously for him to come back home. One more hour and he'll be here. Without him nothing makes sense...

a meeting of old friends

Yesterday we spent the whole day at our friends' house at the outskirts of our town. At first I wasn't much enthusiastic about going there, I felt tired and reluctant. But I gave thought to the issue and decided to go. I really had a great time. There were lots of people there, people with whom I used to work in the best possible place to work, which was one of the publishing houses in our town. Name not important, I don't know if it still exists :) Many of the old friends were surprised to see me with a BIG belly, since last time some of them saw me was at the beginning of February this year and on that time I was slim and beautiful:) Of course, I know that now I look good too although I'm fat and a bit swollen. In general pregnancy really does me good and when I look in the mirror I see my belly lends me a kind of dignity. But the friends were surprised to see me so much in a family way:)

So here we are, my son and I, still not separated, still together:) Three days left to the due time. Daddy left for winter swimming but he should be back soon. In the afternoon my hubby's uncle with his wife will visit us and this is what our weekend looks like.

Now listening to Chris Rea and writing this post. My son dancing inside of me. What a feeling, unable to describe. So, we're still waiting...
And here is my belly a few days ago :)

5 days

Every day I think: will it happen today? Every evening I wonder: will it happen tonight?
But so far it THE MOMENT hasn't come. F. is stretching his bones inside my belly and I observe these movements with great joy. Actually, I take great delight in observing these movements because I'm aware these are our last days TOGETHER. After the labor my son will not be mine, mine and only mine. On one hand it makes me sad, on the other I'm glad I will finally see him, will have a chance to get to know him, take care of him.
My SON, how much I love him.
We, women, are strange creatures, aren't we? I'm not much afraid of the pain, I know the labor means pain. I only want F. to be healthy, to be delivered without complications, to come to us safely. I haven't even seen him but if I had to, I would give my life for him. When have I become a mother? I didn't even notice.

All Saints' Day

I guess this is the first All Saints' Day that I'm not spending home with my entire family. It's a tradition that on this day we always go to the cemetery for a Mass and than we come back home to celebrate my granddad’s birthday. Today he is 86!

This year is pretty much different, though. We stayed in Poznan just in case our little has decided to appear on this world. And, in addition, I'm not in a mood for traveling, although my family lives only 70 kilometers from here. I'm heavy, fat and tired, especially in afternoons. Nine days left to the due time. On one hand I can't wait, on the other I'm afraid. It will happen anyway, with or without my permission, so I should just go with the flow:) Sometimes I'm wondering if it's really happening. Am I really with baby? Am I really going to be a mother in a couple of days? Is it all for real? I already love my little son and I try not to think about the pain of the labor. I try to keep in mind what we were taught during our antenatal classes, that the attitude towards the labor affects the whole process of labor and your perception of the labor. If we, women, accept that pain is something good because it helps us to bring your child to this world and if we assume that pain is an inevitable part of the labor, something that we need, than we will go through it more smoothly. So, I try to think positively all the time. I need to think this way:) When I'm afraid it's only evenings or nights, but I must admit I sleep quite good these days. What is very important: tonight was (hopefully) my husband's lat night shift. Since today he will be with me all the nights. I was worried that the whole process may start at night when I'm alone. Of course, I could always call my hubby, but it's more difficult to find a replacement for yourself when you're at work during the night! But it's over, anyway, and I think it's much better to have somebody by your side when the labor starts!:)

PS Any readers here? Please, leave your comment if you happen to read my stuff (you can comment in Polish). I'm just wondering if anybody has ever reached this blog:)

in 2 weeks! :)

Another week behind us my dear son, your mummy's getting very tired, especially in evenings. I'm sitting at the kitchen table eating my breakfast: porridge oats with raisins, sunflower seeds, grated apple, honey, lemon juice and amaranth. The latter is my latest discovery. In the morning I usually can't even look at bread. Today's the same. My hubby is going to sleep till midday (night shift again) and then we're going to attend a training for English teachers. There are going to be two presentations, but we've decided we'd hit the road after the first one. My husband is giving a lesson outside Poznan on Tuesdays, so he must have enough time to come back home and eat his dinner. Two presentations could be tiresome for me too. Around six our ex-flatmate is going to visit us, so the day will be long. This week's the last week my hubby works on night shifts. We hope a better life for all of us will start next week. So my dear boy, stay where you are, wait a bit more. Mummy will manage some more:)

in 3 weeks... :)

Another Tuesday. Time flies. F. is due in about three weeks. Last Friday we visited our doctor. First we had the so-called CTG and then the examination by the doctor. He said F.'s heart is OK and he weighs around 2900 kg. One week more and we will be able to call my pregnancy a full-term pregnancy. So my dear F., please, stay where you are, at least for one more week.

Saturday we went for winter swimming. After the holiday break my husband came back to what he calls one of his latest passions. He really enjoys winter swimming. Good for him, but I'm not sure if anybody will ever tempt me to that:) I always say: well, maybe next time? :) Afterwards there was a bonfire at one of the swimmers' garden plot, then we went to take the baby bath from one of our friends and then we went to my parents. It was a long day and I was really tired. We assume it was the last visit we paid my parents. Now it's only waiting for our Little.

So, we were back yesterday and today my hus is at work till evening because straight after work he goes to teach English. I won't be completely on my own, though, for my friend M. is visiting me after work.

Two good news: my hus was promoted, but I don't know many details yet. One good news is that he will have a nine-to-five job and free weekends. What a thrill!
The second good news is that I earned some money. One month ago I started to cooperate with a guy who owns a publishing house and I did some editing for him. Now that he's paid me I can talk about it out loud. I don't know what my perspectives are, but at least I earned some money. That's all for now, see you!

Long time, no see :)

Another week has gone by. What a strong young man inside my belly! Stretching his small body, giving his mummy a rough ride sometimes. I'm due on November 10th, but F. can appear here two weeks earlier or two weeks later. Anyway, now I'm 36 weeks pregnant. I think the right time hasn't come yet because F. is still very fidgety and for all I know one of the signs that THE DAY is coming is your baby gatting calm:)

Yesterday was the first day of a real fall. It was really chilly, even cold, even very cold:) (Today is the same). We paid my mother-in-law a call. What could I do, I had to leave behind all the bad memories (remember The Night?). We also visited my hus's grandmother who, despite her being 80, still has her wits about her, I'm telling you. She and me are real soulmates.

This week our timetable is really full, I'm glad to announce. I'm a party animal, always have and always will. I adore inviting guests and being sb's guest. I love female chit-chats, heated discussions and, most of all, I love eating :)
So: today (Tuesday) ---> our colleagues from antenatal classes are coming
tomorrow (Wednesday) ---> first my friend Patrycja will drop in and later my close friend Hania will come
the day after (Thursday)---> free yet :)
the next day (Friday) ---> we're going to the doctor, what a thrill :P but the evening still free to be planned
Weekend (hurray): Saturday we're visiting my hus's collegue in the countryside: first winter / fall swimming for those brave enough and then a fire. Did I mention here that my hus is a winter swimming enthusiast? Well, that's a separate story I'm going to bring up some other time.

Saturday evening ---> we're going to my parents and will stay there till Monday; I think it's gonna be our last visit at home before THE DAY

So, I'm glad to announce we have lots of things to entertaing ourselves with, lots of plans and I'm not gonna be stuck home in our studio that I happen to adore, by the way.

You know what??? I'm hungry again!!!

countryside

This is my husband's first free weekend since I don't know when. A perfect opportunity to go to the countryside and enjoy the gold color that's everywhere. Fresh air, cool weather... that's what I like fall for. When pregnant, I learnt how to like it even more than I used to do.

Early morning today, I got up before 6 and I'm a bit unconscious at the moment. Our auntie, who happened to be in Poznan this morning, gave us a lift home. It's all because our car's broken again. She took me from home and we picked my hus from work. Now he's sleeping after the night shift, my parents went shopping and I'm enjoying the company of my black cat. I took a nap too, but I'm still not quite myself. Surely a walk would do me good, but my mom's friend is supposed to deliver a chicken here (dead chicken of course) and I have to be home unless my parents are back for I don’t want my hus to say hello to her stark naked (this is the way he sleeps) :)

I weighed myself today ---> 69 kg and still one month left. I'm heavier every day. I'm craving for November to come. Missing to see my Little Bundle. Almost everything's ready.

Tomorrow's my mum’s name day. The whole family will come. A lot of running around the house I guess, but I'm excused because I'm Pregnant, hello:))) Luckily, my dearest husband is an experienced waiter:)

the calm before the storm

The calm before the storm, this is what I would call the peaceful life we lead nowadays. I'm 34 weeks pregnant and in 2 months our life will look completely different. Maybe even in one month! Almost everything's prepared for our son's coming. Yesterday we bought some cosmetic stuff that was missing, such as baby powder, body and hair gel, and a special liquid that's used for disinfecting the umbilical cord stump. What we still don't have is a baby bath, but since our car is broken again, we aren't able to collect it from our friend. Actually, Franek will have two cribs and two baths. One crib and one bath here at home with his mummy and daddy and the other crib and bath at his grandparents:)

what a night

I used to say: what a night! when me and my beloved would spend the evening and half of the night drinking wine, touching, stroking one another's bodies, getting to know the maps of our bodies... what a poetry here!:) I don't even remember what sex is! But when I look at the huge belly of mine, I remember pretty well where sex can lead you! Whereas perfectly happy with my tummy getting bigger and bigger (1,5 months left, can you imagine) I've also become a bit tired. Pregnancy makes me feel great, no doubts about that. I'm well aware of other pregnant women having piles, swollen legs and backache all the time. Not to mention the feeling of nausea that I barely know. So, in a nutshell, it's great to be with baby, to feel his/her movements inside your body, to contemplate the miracle of creating a new life. There are some days and nights, however, when you would like to scream. One of them happened to me last night. My mother-in-law called me and announced she would like us to put her up for one night. Luckily (now I know I wasn't lucky) my hus was on the night shift, so his mum slept with me. But please ask me who was sleeping! It wasn't me, no doubts about that. I spent the night:
1. waiting for my hus's mum and his brother (they finally appeared after midnight when my best "going to sleep time" has passed me)
2. patiently waiting for them to eat and end up in beds (my brother-in-law in a makeshift bed on the kitchen floor; please note that we have one room only)
3. waiting for my son in my tummy to calm down - surely, he could feel mummy was distressed and that's why he was moving very rapidly, no matter my position on the bed)
4. waiting for my bro-in-law to end drinking his beer in the kitchen and turning the light off
5. me in the kitchen, eating a cold vanilla blansmange prepared beforehand in case I'm hungry
6. finally getting to sleep (around 1:30, I was a bit pissed...)
7. before 2 o clock - oh my God! I was woken up by my mother-in-law's terrible loud snoring!!!!!!!! I had never slept with her in one bed before! I didn't know she snores! no matter her position on the bed!!! my hus does not, so I guess I just assumed she doesn't either :(
8. 2:30 - me sitting on the toilet and crying out of fury (my m-in-l and my b-in-l sleeping sound and having a good rest)
9. 3:00 - me jamming cotton wool into my ears, covering my head with a pillow, finally falling asleep
10. around 4:00 - I wake up, my body sticky with sweat - what has happened???, I was asking myself, has the labor started? no, just too many things covered my head and my arms (m-in-l still snoring hapilly), I went to change into a spare pajamas
11. after 4 I finally fell asleep, woke up around 5, 6, 7 and around 7:30 when my beloved was back from work and my m-in-l was up, having slept well :))

Believe me, it was the worst night of my pregnancy time so far!
So, my m-in-l left for a training course and me and my beloved collapsed onto the bed. I slept till 11, but was exhausted and pissed... I must add here that I planned to attend a training too. It's main idea was teaching English to kids in kindergarten. I was so unconscious that I couldn't even think about it!

Now my hus is at work (he's mainly there these days) and I'm writing here to get my thoughts in order... A bit unconscious, planning to go to bed early today:) surely before my b-in-l is back from the party (did I mention we're putting him up this night too?)

Any changes during last days?
1. a sweet crib is already standing in the corner of our tiny room:)))
2. I have a new hair cut which I like
3. I got a job via Internet, but won't say a word about it until I'm paid for it

I don't even care that nobody visits this blog. Of course it would be nice if somebody dropped in here from time to time, but writing helps me in many ways, anyway. I don't want to tell any friends about it, for I would become very cautious when writing if I did. At least I'm anonymous and I can be frank. And now let me chill out :)

Fall has come unexpectedly. Now the wind is blowing outside and one would like to do nothing but jump into a warm and cozy bed. In fact, my husband is sleeping off the night shift, so my bed really is warm and cozy right at the moment. Tempting... just jumping in there, wrapping myself in a warm quilt or just nestle in my husband’s warm arms...

To my disappointment, today's antenatal classes have been cancelled because our teacher has gone down with flu. We find these classes both useful and pleasant. Thanks to our teacher's calm the fear of the labor is gradually decreasing although the baby's due time is closer and closer. She emphasizes the fact that we, women, have a natural ability to give birth and nobody is wiser than we are, for we have an intuition. Frankly speaking, I'm not that much afraid of the labor process itself, but of my son being ill straight after his birth. The weather will probably be dreadful. My gentle little creature with his immunological system being so weak and all the viruses circulating in the November air... when I think of it I'm almost ill myself right now. There's nothing I can do, though.

Yesterday I spent a wonderful day with my dear husband who has taken me downtown. We went to a coffee house where I ate something absolutely awesome, a dessert called "Ardent love". Vanilla ice cream covered with whipped cream and hot raspberries served in a separate small pitcher. We also went to the Museum of Motorization, where we could admire old cars from communistic times, such as Warszawa, Syrena or Trabant. But not only cars can be found there, but also old cult motorbikes and even a few bicycles. The smell inside is very specific. It smells in there like in my grandpa's garage and when I went in the memories came flooding back. There I was, a little girl peeping into numerous drawers in my grandpa's garage that always seemed to be a bit wrapped in a mystery, so to say.

Now I'm a mother-to-be living a bit too far away from my beloved grandparent, who luckily still enjoy good health. One of the bitterness that the adulthood brings you is the awareness of not being able to satisfy everybody's needs. It appears even harder if you have spent all your life trying to please somebody and now there is one more person to devote yourself to, namely, your husband. Even more difficult is seems when yours and your husband's needs and wants are contrary to what your family expects from you. There are no easy choices. Having your own way is one of the most important things in life, this is what I believe. Even if you're considered a bad and ungrateful daughter, you have to go your own way. Otherwise you'll go mad. Hard luck, what can I say? This is the price we pay for our happiness. And if there's a pain inside of you, maybe the best thing is to realize there are no people who are completely and utterly happy. There's always something that hurts you inside. How personal my writing is today. No harm done, nobody reads it anyway:) At least it's therapeutic and healing.

it's been two weeks here!

Dear Everyone, I'd like to write, but it seems clear that nobody reads my rubbish:) I could announce on Facebook or somewhere that I'm here but somehow I just don’t want to. I hoped for some readers to appear out of nowhere but if there aren't any than tough luck :)

So here we are, almost 2 weeks after moving to a new place. Only my beloved and I, alone for the first time. F. is kicking me right now as if he wanted to say 'hey, I'm here too!'. That's right! My little bundle is with us and I can feel his kicks very well. In two months he will be here in my arms.

So, what about the flat then? It's a studio apartment. A teeny-tiny room (it can hold just the 3 of us and nobody more) plus quite big a kitchen, a small but well-equipped bathroom and !attention please! a big wardrobe with separate doors and shelves reaching the very ceiling. I've already fallen in love with the wardrobe since it can hide all junk that we didn't know what to do with in the old flat of ours. To my husband's infinite joy all my bags have gone inside and so have all the clothes, foam mattresses, a tent and even binders with old notes! Not to mention that my hubby now keeps his bike in the cellar, to my wild joy on the other hand. Not that I have anything against the bike, I just couldn't stand my hus's keeping his beloved two-wheel on the balcony and my seeing it twice a day. Imagine a severe winter with -20 C outside, me laying tucked up in bed and my hus rolling in the room with the bike, opening the balcony door and cramming the bike into ever so slightly small surface of the balcony:D Good old times, hope you'll never come back for I just simply hate the strange sight of a bike inside the flat:) Right, now I'm straying off the point. The flat's just perfect and so is my husband, who by the way, should be finishing his work right now and heading towards home where his love lies waiting silently for him :))))

wind of change

This week the wind of change is almost visible. Tomorrow we're moving to a new place. Although it's not our own flat, for the next year it's going to be our home. It's a one-room apartment, with a tiny bathroom and quite a big kitchen. Now my hubby's just set off to Tesco in search of cardboard boxes that could come in when packing our stuff tomorrow. Today morning I was sitting in the kitchen finishing my breakfast and thinking: time flies, moments pass us by and we're just driven by the things that happen to us. Now I'm 29 weeks pregnant. More and more do I need peace and quiet, long nights without flatmates coming home at 2 am or jumping out of bed at 6 am., slamming the door and banging pots around in the kitchen. It's just the way life goes.

Speaking of the baby, we have the baby carriage! It's nice and we got it for free from the friends of our friends. I haven't even seen the people, isn't it something that makes you believe in people and good?

My hubby's back with an impressive amount of cartons:) Viva Tesco!

sleepy

My hubby's mostly on night shifts these days. Now he's sleeping and I'm very keen to join him. I had a late night yesterday, holding a heated discussion with my friend who suddenly came out a few days ago. That was a huge surprise to me! Not that I have anything against gay people, I just hadn't figured it out for quite long a time. My instinct and intuition weren't right this time. Nice talk, anyway, fruitful and interesting. Life's full of unexpected twists, but that's why life's worth living, isn't it?

Today morning was a bit of a nightmare to me. I had to test the concentration of glucose in my blood. In order to do so, I had to go to the laboratory and I had the first blood sample taken. Then you dissolve 75 g of glucose in a glass of water and you drink it on an empty stomach. Then you sit there for 2 hours, not eating, drinking nor - God forbid - walking. Once 2 hours are over, the second sample is taken and you are free to go. So, one of the most disgusting things I had to do in my entire life was drinking this glucose dissolved in water. After first three sips I almost threw it up and there was the whole glass to be drunken. Terribly sweet, revolting stuff, yecch! What's more, it tasted as if caustic and my throat was terribly irritated. I managed to drink it finally, bearing in mind that if I didn't, I would have to wake up so early again, come there again, pay again and what's the worst, drink it again, anyway. Good job, we've done it. Now just waiting for the results and hoping everything's OK and I won't have to do this once again.

rain!

Finally we have some rain here. I guess this bulging stuff was nothing serious. Yesterday 3 bulges during the whole day and today only one. My friend told me it's a normal thing and I should just take some rest when the belly hardens. My sweet little son, I love him so much. I'll do everything to carry him as long as possible, so that he's strong and healthy. When has this maternal instinct appeared? You get to know you're pregnant, you know there's a little bean inside, you go to the doctor and suddenly there's no bean but a person. You become a Mom and you don't know when and how. The miracle of conception, the miracle of life. How lucky we are being able to contemplate our happiness. Praise the Lord!

confused

Sunny, stuffy days, I've become so fed up with you... unable to breathe, praying for rain. My husband sound asleep after the night shift and I'm wondering whether I should pay my doc a call tomorrow. From time to time my belly hardens on one side (usually the right one) or at the very bottom. It lasts for 10-15 seconds and then it's over. When it hardens there's a bulge appearing on the belly, just as if my son is stretching his body. Naturally, I've already browsed the web in search for any pieces of advice, but the web is, as always, packed with every possible kind of information, from "you must see the doctor immediately" to "everything is OK".... By the way, we're starting the 27th week:)

joyful

Back from our vacations, relaxed and ready to tackle our daily duties. My hubby's been working a lot this week while I'm relaxing most of the times, doing nothing but browsing the web, meeting with friends and reading books I've become behind with during the last year. So, as you can see, there aren't many duties that I must face but this is what I was waiting for the whole last year. Have already read a few books and today I'm starting "The Beach House" by Jane Green. Thanks to her I started to enjoy reading in English and for that I'll always be grateful. As for my little sweet bundle, he's become very fidgety these days, but him being so active brings me loads of joy and makes me smile to him and to the world around me. Pregnancy is a wonderful state to get through and I feel being a mom is going to be a great experience!

missing

Today evening or tomorrow morning my hus is back home. Missing him and anxious to hit the road together. Almost half of the holiday time is over and I really need to escape from it all for a while. Big roaring Polish sea will do me and my little son good.

bored grumpy wife

In my home village temporarily, since my hubby's on a bicycle race in the East of Poland. Nothing special to do here and I'm bored a lot. In Poland they say that an intellingent person never says he or she is bored and always has something to do. And the truth is that there is plenty to do, e.g. I could read, browse the web or revise English vocabulary. I used to know so many vocabulary items, but if you don't revise your vocab it slips your mind so quickly :( The truth also is that I miss my other half so very much that I can barely stand the separation. Together for almost 5 years, still in love. Can there be anything more beautiful than to find a person with whom you feel so well-matched? He's always on my mind and I love him to bits. Honey, without you I'm a poor drifter:( On the phone I try to be cheerful cause don't wanna sound so grumpy. My hubby deserves some relax too and riding a bike is what he truly loves. I know love should mean freedom so why should I oppose? He's been working so hard during last months. Still, I miss him enormously:)

relaxing

No hitting the ground running these days! Mummy-to-be mustn't hurry up. Today morning I had a blood sample taken in order to check if everything's OK. I do this every second month. So far so good! Tomorrow 9 am I'm having the 3D ultrasound scan. Don't find it very necessary but my doc does. So here we go, another 150 PLN but what can I say? We learn our lessons every day and I guess the next pregnancy of mine will be supervised by some other doc. Not that I don't find him competent. On the contrary, he seems to be very knowledgable and well-qualified. It's just that going to other doctors you can have the cost of 3D and all the blood tests reimbursed by National Health Service. I know that since I have 2 friends who are pregnant and get the refund. And it seems that I can't get it at my doctor's. Anyway, I'm not going to tilt at windmills now that I'm 6 months pregnant. Just hoping everything will be all right and my baby is healthy.

hot hot hot

Hot hot hot! For a woman in a family way there's no better piece of advice than stay home and enjoy some good novel. I must admit here that having graduated from English and Polish language faculty, I'm pretty fed up with oh-so-ambitious, high-brow books. Nowadays, when pregnant and tired not only phisically, but also with, let's put it this way, the unknown of my nearest future, I crave for something easily read, that enables you to escape from it all for a while. I'm not very keen on reflecting upon life now! So here we go. Started yesterday, finished today, a fantastic pageturner by Michal Viewegh entitled Women's Novel (the original title Román pro ženy) is the book you really cannot put down. Neither could I, enchanted by M.V. 's flowing style, curious what will happen on the next page. Two years ago I read his Případ nevěrné Kláry and I enjoyed it enormously. According to Wikipedia, Michal Viewegh "is one of the most popular contemporary Czech writers and the bestselling one. He writes about romantic relationships of his contemporaries with humour, and variously successful irony and attempts at deeper meaningfulness; he is sometimes compared to Nick Hornby by his fans."
Mr M.V., I guess I've become one of your huge fans!!!

another day has come

Another day has come, another amazing day since I discovered a small man inside me. As this is the first post of mine, let me introduce myself a bit. I'm 27, living in a beautiful country, that is Poland of course. No irony here, Poland really is a beautiful country that I myself don't know as well as I should! I'm 23 weeks pregnant and every morning that stuns me. The boy inside me kicks, jumps and practices boxing. I can't wait to take care of my little son, but I'm pretty aware that the remaining 3 months that are ahead of me will be the last three peaceful months:) For now let him develop inside my belly, become stronger and bigger:)