piątek, 31 grudnia 2010
My son's asleep after the bath and I'm gonna grab a bite to eat. And here is a song that I especially like
And do you happen to know this version?
wtorek, 28 grudnia 2010
czwartek, 23 grudnia 2010
środa, 22 grudnia 2010
It's been, without doubt, the most exciting and surprising month in my hus' and my life. It was difficult too but when you take a look at the child when he sleeps, when he sucks at the breast and grips your finger with his hand... moments like that are priceless. Then you don't remember sleepless nights any more:) I must admit here that our son is not very demanding, though. He eats and sleeps most of the times. And of course, he cries:) Sometimes has problems with getting to sleep. But by and large, not a very weepy example of a child.
I'd like to say hello to the first reader of my blog, LIBRA, who was brave enough to leave a comment. So far no pics here, but please, drop in from time to time and make me feel this blog is worth writing!
środa, 1 grudnia 2010
wtorek, 16 listopada 2010
1. those who don't have children and see no point in giving their way to me
2. those who have children but think "who the hell helped ME when I was pregnant? why should I help the one with baby now?"
There is yet another group, I must admit, but I meet people like that very rarely. These are people who will let you be served before them and give up their seat to you. I met few of them during my pregnancy. Very few.
I'm not writing this stuff to show how sorry I feel for myself. My pregnancy makes me feel good and I don't have health problems. I'm sorry for those women who really don't feel on top of the world being in the family way, have nausea, piles, backache and varicose veins. Because what I see around be can be called a plain callousness. Why are people so indifferent?
I must also add that there is a view that still lingers on among middle-aged people, especially among women. They will repeat to you one sentence: "Pregnancy is not a disease". What stands behind this claim is that they were oh-so-poor and oh-so-brave and had to work during their pregnancy. And they did work and nothing happened! And those contemporary pregnant women! They are lazy, stay at home, don't wanna work and I SHOULD GIVE MY WAY TO THEM???
Maybe I'm writing this because I've heard it myself although I worked till the end of the 5th month, commuting each week and not feeling on top of the world. Maybe sometimes I'm full of anger because of that. Because we, contemporary women, don't care what it used to look like. We just want to take some rest. And, what seems obvious to me, we would like our mothers to stop to feel sorry for themselves. Because mothers should want a better life for their kids. Your life may be better, more comfortable then mine and I'm glad. And what do we, contemporary women, face? A pure jealousy. I know what I'm saying. I have a few pregnant friends.
Ok, that's enough:)
I should end on a positive note, so let me tell you how much I'm waiting for my Son. I'm curious what he will look like, what hair he will have and most of all, I hope he's healthy and come to this world safe and sound.
piątek, 12 listopada 2010
So, despite plans that I've made, the reality looks like this: I'm home, still pregnant and expecting F. any time. Today we're visiting my doctor to have ctg.
And then the weekend begins. Two days of uninterrupted peace and quiet, two days spent with the love of my life, who doesn't have to work on weekends any more. Maybe I will see my son this weekend. And if not, I'll wait some more time.
wtorek, 9 listopada 2010
So here I am, waiting anxiously for him to come back home. One more hour and he'll be here. Without him nothing makes sense...
niedziela, 7 listopada 2010
So here we are, my son and I, still not separated, still together:) Three days left to the due time. Daddy left for winter swimming but he should be back soon. In the afternoon my hubby's uncle with his wife will visit us and this is what our weekend looks like.
Now listening to Chris Rea and writing this post. My son dancing inside of me. What a feeling, unable to describe. So, we're still waiting...
And here is my belly a few days ago :)
piątek, 5 listopada 2010
But so far it THE MOMENT hasn't come. F. is stretching his bones inside my belly and I observe these movements with great joy. Actually, I take great delight in observing these movements because I'm aware these are our last days TOGETHER. After the labor my son will not be mine, mine and only mine. On one hand it makes me sad, on the other I'm glad I will finally see him, will have a chance to get to know him, take care of him.
My SON, how much I love him.
We, women, are strange creatures, aren't we? I'm not much afraid of the pain, I know the labor means pain. I only want F. to be healthy, to be delivered without complications, to come to us safely. I haven't even seen him but if I had to, I would give my life for him. When have I become a mother? I didn't even notice.
poniedziałek, 1 listopada 2010
This year is pretty much different, though. We stayed in Poznan just in case our little has decided to appear on this world. And, in addition, I'm not in a mood for traveling, although my family lives only 70 kilometers from here. I'm heavy, fat and tired, especially in afternoons. Nine days left to the due time. On one hand I can't wait, on the other I'm afraid. It will happen anyway, with or without my permission, so I should just go with the flow:) Sometimes I'm wondering if it's really happening. Am I really with baby? Am I really going to be a mother in a couple of days? Is it all for real? I already love my little son and I try not to think about the pain of the labor. I try to keep in mind what we were taught during our antenatal classes, that the attitude towards the labor affects the whole process of labor and your perception of the labor. If we, women, accept that pain is something good because it helps us to bring your child to this world and if we assume that pain is an inevitable part of the labor, something that we need, than we will go through it more smoothly. So, I try to think positively all the time. I need to think this way:) When I'm afraid it's only evenings or nights, but I must admit I sleep quite good these days. What is very important: tonight was (hopefully) my husband's lat night shift. Since today he will be with me all the nights. I was worried that the whole process may start at night when I'm alone. Of course, I could always call my hubby, but it's more difficult to find a replacement for yourself when you're at work during the night! But it's over, anyway, and I think it's much better to have somebody by your side when the labor starts!:)
PS Any readers here? Please, leave your comment if you happen to read my stuff (you can comment in Polish). I'm just wondering if anybody has ever reached this blog:)
wtorek, 26 października 2010
wtorek, 19 października 2010
Saturday we went for winter swimming. After the holiday break my husband came back to what he calls one of his latest passions. He really enjoys winter swimming. Good for him, but I'm not sure if anybody will ever tempt me to that:) I always say: well, maybe next time? :) Afterwards there was a bonfire at one of the swimmers' garden plot, then we went to take the baby bath from one of our friends and then we went to my parents. It was a long day and I was really tired. We assume it was the last visit we paid my parents. Now it's only waiting for our Little.
So, we were back yesterday and today my hus is at work till evening because straight after work he goes to teach English. I won't be completely on my own, though, for my friend M. is visiting me after work.
Two good news: my hus was promoted, but I don't know many details yet. One good news is that he will have a nine-to-five job and free weekends. What a thrill!
The second good news is that I earned some money. One month ago I started to cooperate with a guy who owns a publishing house and I did some editing for him. Now that he's paid me I can talk about it out loud. I don't know what my perspectives are, but at least I earned some money. That's all for now, see you!
wtorek, 12 października 2010
Yesterday was the first day of a real fall. It was really chilly, even cold, even very cold:) (Today is the same). We paid my mother-in-law a call. What could I do, I had to leave behind all the bad memories (remember The Night?). We also visited my hus's grandmother who, despite her being 80, still has her wits about her, I'm telling you. She and me are real soulmates.
This week our timetable is really full, I'm glad to announce. I'm a party animal, always have and always will. I adore inviting guests and being sb's guest. I love female chit-chats, heated discussions and, most of all, I love eating :)
So: today (Tuesday) ---> our colleagues from antenatal classes are coming
tomorrow (Wednesday) ---> first my friend Patrycja will drop in and later my close friend Hania will come
the day after (Thursday)---> free yet :)
the next day (Friday) ---> we're going to the doctor, what a thrill :P but the evening still free to be planned
Weekend (hurray): Saturday we're visiting my hus's collegue in the countryside: first winter / fall swimming for those brave enough and then a fire. Did I mention here that my hus is a winter swimming enthusiast? Well, that's a separate story I'm going to bring up some other time.
Saturday evening ---> we're going to my parents and will stay there till Monday; I think it's gonna be our last visit at home before THE DAY
So, I'm glad to announce we have lots of things to entertaing ourselves with, lots of plans and I'm not gonna be stuck home in our studio that I happen to adore, by the way.
You know what??? I'm hungry again!!!
sobota, 2 października 2010
Early morning today, I got up before 6 and I'm a bit unconscious at the moment. Our auntie, who happened to be in Poznan this morning, gave us a lift home. It's all because our car's broken again. She took me from home and we picked my hus from work. Now he's sleeping after the night shift, my parents went shopping and I'm enjoying the company of my black cat. I took a nap too, but I'm still not quite myself. Surely a walk would do me good, but my mom's friend is supposed to deliver a chicken here (dead chicken of course) and I have to be home unless my parents are back for I don’t want my hus to say hello to her stark naked (this is the way he sleeps) :)
I weighed myself today ---> 69 kg and still one month left. I'm heavier every day. I'm craving for November to come. Missing to see my Little Bundle. Almost everything's ready.
Tomorrow's my mum’s name day. The whole family will come. A lot of running around the house I guess, but I'm excused because I'm Pregnant, hello:))) Luckily, my dearest husband is an experienced waiter:)
piątek, 1 października 2010
sobota, 25 września 2010
1. waiting for my hus's mum and his brother (they finally appeared after midnight when my best "going to sleep time" has passed me)
2. patiently waiting for them to eat and end up in beds (my brother-in-law in a makeshift bed on the kitchen floor; please note that we have one room only)
3. waiting for my son in my tummy to calm down - surely, he could feel mummy was distressed and that's why he was moving very rapidly, no matter my position on the bed)
4. waiting for my bro-in-law to end drinking his beer in the kitchen and turning the light off
5. me in the kitchen, eating a cold vanilla blansmange prepared beforehand in case I'm hungry
6. finally getting to sleep (around 1:30, I was a bit pissed...)
7. before 2 o clock - oh my God! I was woken up by my mother-in-law's terrible loud snoring!!!!!!!! I had never slept with her in one bed before! I didn't know she snores! no matter her position on the bed!!! my hus does not, so I guess I just assumed she doesn't either :(
8. 2:30 - me sitting on the toilet and crying out of fury (my m-in-l and my b-in-l sleeping sound and having a good rest)
9. 3:00 - me jamming cotton wool into my ears, covering my head with a pillow, finally falling asleep
10. around 4:00 - I wake up, my body sticky with sweat - what has happened???, I was asking myself, has the labor started? no, just too many things covered my head and my arms (m-in-l still snoring hapilly), I went to change into a spare pajamas
11. after 4 I finally fell asleep, woke up around 5, 6, 7 and around 7:30 when my beloved was back from work and my m-in-l was up, having slept well :))
Believe me, it was the worst night of my pregnancy time so far!
So, my m-in-l left for a training course and me and my beloved collapsed onto the bed. I slept till 11, but was exhausted and pissed... I must add here that I planned to attend a training too. It's main idea was teaching English to kids in kindergarten. I was so unconscious that I couldn't even think about it!
Now my hus is at work (he's mainly there these days) and I'm writing here to get my thoughts in order... A bit unconscious, planning to go to bed early today:) surely before my b-in-l is back from the party (did I mention we're putting him up this night too?)
Any changes during last days?
1. a sweet crib is already standing in the corner of our tiny room:)))
2. I have a new hair cut which I like
3. I got a job via Internet, but won't say a word about it until I'm paid for it
I don't even care that nobody visits this blog. Of course it would be nice if somebody dropped in here from time to time, but writing helps me in many ways, anyway. I don't want to tell any friends about it, for I would become very cautious when writing if I did. At least I'm anonymous and I can be frank. And now let me chill out :)
czwartek, 16 września 2010
To my disappointment, today's antenatal classes have been cancelled because our teacher has gone down with flu. We find these classes both useful and pleasant. Thanks to our teacher's calm the fear of the labor is gradually decreasing although the baby's due time is closer and closer. She emphasizes the fact that we, women, have a natural ability to give birth and nobody is wiser than we are, for we have an intuition. Frankly speaking, I'm not that much afraid of the labor process itself, but of my son being ill straight after his birth. The weather will probably be dreadful. My gentle little creature with his immunological system being so weak and all the viruses circulating in the November air... when I think of it I'm almost ill myself right now. There's nothing I can do, though.
Yesterday I spent a wonderful day with my dear husband who has taken me downtown. We went to a coffee house where I ate something absolutely awesome, a dessert called "Ardent love". Vanilla ice cream covered with whipped cream and hot raspberries served in a separate small pitcher. We also went to the Museum of Motorization, where we could admire old cars from communistic times, such as Warszawa, Syrena or Trabant. But not only cars can be found there, but also old cult motorbikes and even a few bicycles. The smell inside is very specific. It smells in there like in my grandpa's garage and when I went in the memories came flooding back. There I was, a little girl peeping into numerous drawers in my grandpa's garage that always seemed to be a bit wrapped in a mystery, so to say.
Now I'm a mother-to-be living a bit too far away from my beloved grandparent, who luckily still enjoy good health. One of the bitterness that the adulthood brings you is the awareness of not being able to satisfy everybody's needs. It appears even harder if you have spent all your life trying to please somebody and now there is one more person to devote yourself to, namely, your husband. Even more difficult is seems when yours and your husband's needs and wants are contrary to what your family expects from you. There are no easy choices. Having your own way is one of the most important things in life, this is what I believe. Even if you're considered a bad and ungrateful daughter, you have to go your own way. Otherwise you'll go mad. Hard luck, what can I say? This is the price we pay for our happiness. And if there's a pain inside of you, maybe the best thing is to realize there are no people who are completely and utterly happy. There's always something that hurts you inside. How personal my writing is today. No harm done, nobody reads it anyway:) At least it's therapeutic and healing.
wtorek, 14 września 2010
So here we are, almost 2 weeks after moving to a new place. Only my beloved and I, alone for the first time. F. is kicking me right now as if he wanted to say 'hey, I'm here too!'. That's right! My little bundle is with us and I can feel his kicks very well. In two months he will be here in my arms.
So, what about the flat then? It's a studio apartment. A teeny-tiny room (it can hold just the 3 of us and nobody more) plus quite big a kitchen, a small but well-equipped bathroom and !attention please! a big wardrobe with separate doors and shelves reaching the very ceiling. I've already fallen in love with the wardrobe since it can hide all junk that we didn't know what to do with in the old flat of ours. To my husband's infinite joy all my bags have gone inside and so have all the clothes, foam mattresses, a tent and even binders with old notes! Not to mention that my hubby now keeps his bike in the cellar, to my wild joy on the other hand. Not that I have anything against the bike, I just couldn't stand my hus's keeping his beloved two-wheel on the balcony and my seeing it twice a day. Imagine a severe winter with -20 C outside, me laying tucked up in bed and my hus rolling in the room with the bike, opening the balcony door and cramming the bike into ever so slightly small surface of the balcony:D Good old times, hope you'll never come back for I just simply hate the strange sight of a bike inside the flat:) Right, now I'm straying off the point. The flat's just perfect and so is my husband, who by the way, should be finishing his work right now and heading towards home where his love lies waiting silently for him :))))
poniedziałek, 30 sierpnia 2010
Speaking of the baby, we have the baby carriage! It's nice and we got it for free from the friends of our friends. I haven't even seen the people, isn't it something that makes you believe in people and good?
My hubby's back with an impressive amount of cartons:) Viva Tesco!
czwartek, 19 sierpnia 2010
Today morning was a bit of a nightmare to me. I had to test the concentration of glucose in my blood. In order to do so, I had to go to the laboratory and I had the first blood sample taken. Then you dissolve 75 g of glucose in a glass of water and you drink it on an empty stomach. Then you sit there for 2 hours, not eating, drinking nor - God forbid - walking. Once 2 hours are over, the second sample is taken and you are free to go. So, one of the most disgusting things I had to do in my entire life was drinking this glucose dissolved in water. After first three sips I almost threw it up and there was the whole glass to be drunken. Terribly sweet, revolting stuff, yecch! What's more, it tasted as if caustic and my throat was terribly irritated. I managed to drink it finally, bearing in mind that if I didn't, I would have to wake up so early again, come there again, pay again and what's the worst, drink it again, anyway. Good job, we've done it. Now just waiting for the results and hoping everything's OK and I won't have to do this once again.
poniedziałek, 16 sierpnia 2010
Finally we have some rain here. I guess this bulging stuff was nothing serious. Yesterday 3 bulges during the whole day and today only one. My friend told me it's a normal thing and I should just take some rest when the belly hardens. My sweet little son, I love him so much. I'll do everything to carry him as long as possible, so that he's strong and healthy. When has this maternal instinct appeared? You get to know you're pregnant, you know there's a little bean inside, you go to the doctor and suddenly there's no bean but a person. You become a Mom and you don't know when and how. The miracle of conception, the miracle of life. How lucky we are being able to contemplate our happiness. Praise the Lord!
niedziela, 15 sierpnia 2010
piątek, 13 sierpnia 2010
środa, 28 lipca 2010
niedziela, 25 lipca 2010
czwartek, 22 lipca 2010
środa, 21 lipca 2010
Mr M.V., I guess I've become one of your huge fans!!!